![]() ![]() The scene played out shouldn’t be organic until they’ve done it enough so they know each other’s limits. They also are supposed to talk beforehand. I work with the couples to create a safe word - meaning whenever one of them says that word, what’s going on must stop. How can couples stay safe - and consensual - while trying out BDSM?īDSM play is always consensual. You can always just dip your toe in - and that will still add a level of erotic energy to sex play with your partner. You can go as heavy as you want - as long as it’s consensual. But, in reality, BDSM covers everything from playful role-playing to spanking to tying up your partner and teasing them with a feather. There’s absolutely nothing to be afraid of when it comes to BDSM. Here’s one scenario: one person - playing the dom (the person in power) can pretend to be the CEO of a company and the submissive can be an employee. You can have a session with a dom, who will demonstrate the ropes and different types of exercises you can do in the bedroom. I also frequently refer my clients to doms, and let the doms show them the safe way to play. I would check those out and do some research. So, how can a couple that’s never tried BDSM before organically introduce it into their relationship? Or, if one partner had a bad sexual experience in the past, I prescribe it as a way to give that partner back some feeling of control. I often prescribe BDSM for power struggles or control issues. So I gave them assignments where she would “dom” him in the bedroom. He was totally dominating her in the relationship. So I met with them individually and found that their relationship was a total power struggle. They had been married for about ten years. ![]() She said she wasn’t attracted to her husband anymore and that she thought their marriage was over. I recently had a couple come in recently and the wife was in tears. BDSM is an expression of one’s uniqueness of their sexuality, and I always find that our BDSM couples are very blessed because they’ve found a partner that is a good fit for them.īut I also help vanilla couples introduce BDSM into their relationships, sometimes, in a bid to save their unions. Jones: For couples already involved in it, they’re no different from any other couple. Motto: What impact can BDSM have on relationships? Jones spoke with Motto about her work, what impact BDSM can have on relationships and how “vanilla” couples can start getting a little kinky. “It definitely makes a difference for damaged relationships,” Dr. Stephanie Hunter Jones, a certified sex therapist, works with couples to introduce BDSM into their bedrooms - and she told Motto that she’s seen the practice completely revive partnerships. But is it healthy to add a little spanking and submission into your sex life?ĭr. Looking for something more spicy? Trust me, this list is vanilla compared to my BDSM Checklist.While 50 Shades of Grey has brought BDSM into the mainstream, many couples regularly practice the lifestyle, which refers to sex practices including domination, bondage and sadomasochism. If you're not sure how to start the conversation with your partner about what turns you on (and what doesn't!), try completing this list yourself and using it as a starting point or book our Couples Pleasure Mapping Workshop for a guided, in-depth exploration experience with your partner! ![]() This list isn't something you'd post on your social media or swap with strangers on the street, but if you're looking to understand and develop your own personal relationship with pleasure, or share your fantasies and pleasure preferences with a trusted partner, a Yes/No/Maybe list like this one can be a good place to start. At first glance, (especially if you're not a kinkster) the list is a bit graphic, but it's great for privately exploring your sexual preferences. We like to think of this list as menu for sexual play. ![]()
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